by Heather Castellanos
We can all agree that these past 2 years, yes, 2 freaking years, have been a challenge for most of us, to say the least. So many of us have had to deal with huge life changes, sickness or sick family members, job challenges, relationship changes, being stuck at home, loss, fear, stress, and everything related to all of that. It’s been tough….very tough. Being beat down by life steadily for so long can really take its toll on you and knock you so far off your normal, awesome self.
I am certainly a part of this club, and looking back on it, I am proud of myself for having gotten through so much for so long, but it’s taken a lot of effort, intention, help and focus to try to right this ship. Even though I am far from “back to normal,” I’ve learned so much about both myself and life over the past 2 years, and felt I should share some tips I’ve picked up along the way to maybe help you make a comeback in your life.
1. Get Real
For me, the first step in getting myself back on track is being honest, like really honest, about everything related to accomplishing that goal. When you get derailed, it’s typically because whatever has occurred in your life has hijacked your priorities and put you in some sort of mental state that jumbles it all up and weakens your ability to stay steadfast and see clearly. You forget what was important to you, and sometimes more importantly, why it is important. In this place, excuses thrive. Before you can make any real progress on your comeback, you need to be real with yourself on several levels. What is it that YOU want? WHY do YOU want it? Is it really for YOU or someone else? What is getting in your way? How can YOU change things in your life to get what YOU want? What are YOU doing that may be sabotaging your progress? There is only one person that can accomplish your goals or prevent you from doing so- YOURSELF.
2. However, Be Kind to Yourself
If you’re at all like me, you put a lot of pressure on yourself to handle it, to get it done, to be okay and keep pushing forward. The hard truth is- you will not always be okay, and you will not always be able to get it done….and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I have had to repeat that to myself many times over the past couple of years especially. That can be difficult to accept for some, and I am, admittedly, at the front of that line. Recognize the reality of your situation, whatever that may be, of what you’re dealing with and how difficult it is. The saying, “it’s okay to not be okay” is one that we all need to keep in the back of our minds. Allow yourself the space to struggle and feel and react “appropriately”. “Appropriately” meaning, however you need to, not however everyone else deems is appropriate. Not giving yourself permission to do this is only creating the basis for worse problems later on.
3. Baby Steps
Start slowly. Whatever comeback you are trying to make, be it fitness or otherwise, don’t put too much pressure on yourself to go 0-60 right away. Maybe you used to be 20 pounds lighter, workout 5 days a week, prep your meals every week, drink all your water, get enough sleep every night, but have lost all of those healthy habits. Don’t try to do it all at once. Too much too fast will almost always end with a crash and burn. Start with just one thing and make small improvements. When you get that under control, add another, and so on. “Slow progress is better than no progress.”
4. Just Do Something
Related to taking baby steps, just do something related towards accomplishing your goals. Let’s use the fitness example since that’s the one that has been hardest for me- I know, weird because I work in a gym, but it is what it is. Finding the time and drive to workout can be challenging when your world has been flipped on its head. Stress can knock all gumption and motivation from a person. Try to just do something, anything, most days- that’s what I tell myself…walk the dogs, workout for 20 minutes, go up and down the stairs in your house a few times (I have seriously resorted to this one just to commit to DO SOMETHING). When you commit to do something most days, this can build up over time, and will create that longer term habit for you to help you reach your goals.
5. Find a Friend
Share what you’re experiencing with people you trust in your life. You have all heard this from us time and time again…find someone or a few people who understand what you’re going through who can help you. Talk about what you need with those close to you. By sharing your struggles and what you're trying to accomplish, you may open the door to a support that you didn’t realize you had. There could be someone in your life who is struggling just like you are, and you may end up being the best option for helping each other get back on track. There could be someone in your life who has resources for you that you didn’t know existed. It can be challenging for some of us to admit when we’re having a hard time, but If you don’t speak up, you will never know who and how someone may be able to help.
6. Find Joy
Make room in your life for the things that bring a smile to your face. Just a touch of happiness, laughter, and joy every day can have a major impact on your attitude and your outlook on any obstacles that may present themselves. This may be harder than it sounds, especially if you’re struggling with your mental state, which chances are, you are- after all, we are trying to make a comeback. Pay attention to the little things- who/what around you makes you smile? What are you doing when you feel most at peace or most content? What did you used to do that you enjoyed? Try to identify these things and find ways to incorporate them back into your life a little more frequently. Even better, if you can find a way to incorporate joy into your comeback, well, hell yeah! That will make it soooo much easier to stay the course. Going back to our fitness example, find a physical activity you love- maybe a dance class, a sport you enjoy, something with your kids, or something outdoors? Finding something related to your goals that also makes you happy is a total win-win!
Making a comeback takes courage and can be a difficult, slow, and frustrating process, just ask Robert Downey Jr., and for most of us, it is just that, a process. Take your time, focus on moving forward however slowly you need to, and be kind to yourself if you’re not making as much progress as you think you should. You will get there in time. If you need help, we’re here for you.
